“And the day came
when the risk to remain tight in a bud
was more painful
than the risk it took to blossom.”
My name is Neela Paulussen (1975). I like this quote about daring to live life and the constrictions that stop us. It is precisely this paradox between desire and fear that inspires me most. Because how do I do that, gather the courage to live life to the fullest? And how do I do that in contact with others? How can I be honest and meet someone else without holding back, without hiding my vulnerability, without pretending to be something different, a little bigger, a little stronger, a little more independent? I know the desire for liberation and also the fear that holds me back. The search for answers started with myself.
I have learned to listen to what happens in me, to that what is whispering, under all that is loud. I’ve learned about splintering and helplessness, as well as about courage and strength. About taking myself seriously, here and now, instead of living my life from ideas about how I, or my life, should be like. I have learned to embrace that what is off, to be touched more, to enjoy more fully, to laugh harder and to love more deeply. I do this job because this is what I love to do most. It feels rich and meaningful to be able to support people in their growth process and their search for a more authentic, sincere and free life.
The science of climate change has dawned on me. This touches many emotions and deep spiritual themes in me such as life and death, meaning, acceptance, and who I choose to be in a changing world. I am involved in several movements that focus on how climate change affects humans, including Extinction Rebellion and Deep Adaptation.
I am a mother of 3 beautiful teenage sons who I co-parent with their father and our new partners. In relating with my love, we explore how we can feel free in the inevitable tightness that intimate relationship also brings. Since 2016 I have my own practice in Amsterdam and I am also the founder of In de Naaikamer, a thriving sewing school. Since 1996 I have been trained in various ways in human functioning and personal growth, both grounded in Western science and Eastern wisdom.